I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
