They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
