I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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