Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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