Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
