What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
