exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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