so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
