your parents love me but you hate me
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
