just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
