I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
