Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
