Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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