wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
