So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
