Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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