Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
