How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
