You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
