Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize