so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
