You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
