ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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