The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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