direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
