you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
