I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
