I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Boobs are out for the taking
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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