why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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