Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
