He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
