i don't like sucking hair
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize