Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
