You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
