My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
your room smells of hookers.
And success
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
