What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
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