Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
