I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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