Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
