i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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