fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
