So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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