this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize