once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
