He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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