??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
