we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
