I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
