I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
