His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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