I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
