"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
