i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
