I don't think brook has ever known best
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
