you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
