He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
