After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
