Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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