sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
